Tags
Aiki, Aikido, Ariga Kaname sensei, Awareness, Budo, Christian Tissier sensei, Conflict, Desire, Eckhart Tolle, Ego, Fear, Feelings, Happiness, Healing, Martial Arts, Meeting Point, Mind, Mindfulness, Presence, Psychology, Seishiro Endo sensei, War
A master of deception
Who takes you by the hand
Then leads you to the palace of the damned
He pulls the strings inside you
And plays upon your fears
Your final scream is music to his ears
Robert Halford – Evil Never Dies
What is the meeting point in a verbal interaction? Is there such a thing? Lately I have been pondering upon the concept of the meeting point in a general sense; Not merely in our positional play in our physical structure on the tatami, but our meeting with people in the real world, even over the phone. In my experience, if the partners does not agree upon a meeting point, no exchange will happen.
A common problem in a conflict is that the two parts are blindly focusing on one single aspect, with no attention to the view of the other part. This tunnelvision is a common effect of the human mind, I guess. Sometimes we are so single-mindedly focused on the problem that even if a number of possible solutions are right there in front of our eyes, we will never be able to see them. So the “time-aspect” is of paramount importance as well ass the “space-aspect”. If we are lost in the past or the future, we are absent in the present moment, where all the solutions can be found.
In some cases, one part involved in the conflict has a more developed awareness. By being aware of what the mind is doing, they can still see the world around them, and even if the other part has a too low awareness to see anything outside their own emotions and thoughts, the higher level person could meet them where they have their attention or lead them to a reasonable location for a meeting point.
Christian Tissier sensei said something some years ago which has stuck in my mind: “If the partner does not accept the point, it is not a point.” So if two parts in a conflict are both trying to communicate through their separate meeting points, they will not get anywhere, because they are both having monologues, not a dialogue, because the phone line is going to different connecting places, and they are not speaking to each other, even though they are both speaking.
I have experienced this a number of times, and many times I have been part of this situation. My workplace is a very interesting laboratory for this kind of study (I work in the reception of a big dental clinic). Sometimes even though we see where our partner is, we can’t really meet them. And a great deal of the time we don’t have the level to even see the situation outside the maze of thoughts and emotions.
One situation I find myself in often is that once I shift my own attempt for a meeting to where my partner is, they evade my meeting by starting speaking of an entirely different topic. And every time I shifted to meet them, they kept jumping to a different theme. My theory is that I was mistaken about what the real meeting point was, and saw merely the outer physical contact point of our conversation. It does, to a certain degree, require a mutual level of awareness to come to a point where an exchange is possible.
One can still to a certain degree help the other achieve a higher level. Vice versa, a low level is contagious. So it does benefit the situation a lot if at least one part can see what our respective mind is doing, and through this, being able to observe the world outside ourselves, and noticing the partner, and their meeting point, because we do need to meet somewhere to have a meeting.
In music there are a lot of technical principles, scales, or modes, which transmits different emotions (ionian, dorian, phrygian and so on). In a way music and aikido are very similar in nature, because we are using technical principles to transmit emotions. Of course, in music this communication also is happening between the musicians, but with sound it gives the audience a more complete impression of what is going on compared to in aikido, where we use touch as the transmission medium.
Even in the relatively simple katas we perform with our friends in the dojo is sufficiently complex to easily get confused when analysing the meeting point. The first thing to notice would be that the meeting point is not always the same as a contact point. We might have many contact points, but there is always only one meeting. There are several levels of the meeting happening. But in all levels, and all categories, the partners needs to be in agreement about what the meeting point is.
Of course, this is not something we have to think about during our time on the tatami, because it will happen naturally in our movements. If we have a problem, we will experience the problem. And the grace of the keiko is that by continuing to study, we will close in on this theory with our movements, even if we did not think about these things. Just as a good melody in music can be found without knowing anything about musical theory.
In my opinion, aikido is more than just a physical activity, to keep ourselves fit. It is something which should benefit the world outside the tatami. Thus, it would be interesting to analyse these things, to find similarities with what we face, for example at work, on the phone, with a customer, a colleague, or a person from a different company. The meeting point becomes relevant.
A huge aspect of the meeting point is to be present in the world we live in at this moment. Very often our attention is drawn towards what has happened in the past or towards something we imagine will happen in the future. Even if we are discussing past events, or planning the future with our partner, it is fundamentally important to be in a realistic respect to what is, right now. Because no matter what has happened, or no matter what we want to achieve, the current situation is where we have to start from. No excuses, like “It should be like this!” will work, because what is, is the way it is, right now. And there is nothing we can do about that.
When we find ourselves in a situation at work where we feel stuck. We do understand that an exchange needs to happen for us to get on with our jobs, but we are just not able to. There is the time dimension, where the mind can be holding grudges, or we are acting out of fear or desire for some fantasy future situation. Or we just can’t see the meeting with our partner, because we are blinded by our assumptions, judgement and other pollution from our mind. No matter how hard we try we are just not able to meet our partner. Just as when I was shifting to meet my partner, and my partner was evading me (from my point of view) to a different subject because I did not have the level to see the real meeting point.
We could say that just like the scales and modes are describing a theory for what will sound good in music, the meeting on the tatami could be described as a fulcrum. We have an exhalation phase, we are closing in on the fulcrum, and an inhalation phase, where we are moving away from the fulcrum. At the same time we will have rotations around the fulcrum in any direction.
It is a bit like the gravitational interaction of masses meeting in space. There is a gravitational pull between all masses at all times, but as the masses close in on each other, they start to affect each other more. So they move towards each other, move around each other, and fly apart, with a fulcrum as the meeting point. Their centre of mass might never reach the location of the meeting point, but rather swing around it, closing in, and moving out again. Otherwise we would have a collision, and mechanically, the same principles would apply.
A fulcrum can move, it can even be subject to accelerations. However, in this case it is a relative fulcrum which a part of a bigger system, with more parts, also following the nature of fulcrums, moving in, moving out and rotating around a common centre point, which is the meeting point of the entire system.
A fulcrum protects the integrity of the partners. There is no way we can interact with our partner by pushing, pulling or twisting. Both partners have integrity, and the integrity is needed for the principle to be valid.
So what happens if we try to “violate the meeting point”? We will experience that our partner becomes “heavy”. Even if our partner is not physically resisting us, we will find difficulties in performing our movements. If we use leverage, timing and maybe superior strength, we still might be able to succeed in our movement, but “the lightness of touch” we have with our partner if we conserve the fulcrum, will be lost. And I guess this kind of experience will not help us in the world outside the dojo. You can’t solve a conflict with a person on the phone, or even across a desk, with physical strength.
There is a principle in tào which I prefer to call actionless activity (wu wei). This quality is sometimes translated as non action, or choosing the path of minimum effort. This quality is very interesting, because it is the only way we can have fulcrum conservation. In my opinion “actionless activity” is a good way to describe it, because “actionless” specifies that the action is always neutral, and “activity” means that we are active (not passive).
This is a hard challenge for the mind. We need to be present in the meeting. This means that we can’t run away from things which we fear; And it means that we can’t cling to things which we desire. Just being present in the meeting point, NOW. This is what is.
Very often our focus tends to shift to what tori is doing, and what tori should or should not do, and so on, while neglecting the role of uke. Both partners are part of a martial interaction. If one part moves, it has consequences for all other parts. If one side moves their tanks to strike, the opposing side will not stay in their current position, if the integrity of their ranks are compromised by the movement of the other side. If in chess our opponent moves a piece and will be able to strike at our piece on the next move, we need to reconsider our positions.
In aikido we are doing it together, so it is not like in war or in chess. However, the martial nature is still there. So when tori moves, uke should, in my opinion, continuously be searching for the best position, and not asking themselves: “Do I have to move?” (no you don’t, but then it would not be a martial arts any more, when the partner have the position for a significant strike, and will not because we don’t knock down our friends in aikido).
What is all of this good for? Why overanalyse and create theories about what is indescribable? The Way that can be described is not the general way. I guess, for at least me, it gives inspiration for the study. It is nice to have different aspects to focus on from year to year. We still study the same movements every day of the year. The theory brings spice to our aiki-food. I guess, at least for me, it is also important to relate all our study in the tatami to the actual world outside the dojo.
Besides, in many kata our contact point(s) are quite distant from our meeting point. So it really helps the understanding of the movement to be aware of where the centre of the movement is. As an example in irimi nage or shiho nage the contact point is in the height of our noses, while our meeting, in my opinion is in between our front hips. It does help our technique to be aware of this.
The most interesting moments, the situations where we learn the most, is when we meet partners who are not easy to practise with. This goes both for aikido and in life outside the dojo. We have to study, both the physical form, but even more the awareness of what happens in our mind when we encounter an obstacle.
In my opinion we should never ask our partner to change something, neither as uke nor as tori (unless it is a matter of safety). Every situation is an opportunity to discover new things. And yes, most of the useful things, which can make a change, are what happens inside of us. We can’t stop the greater conflicts in the world with our choices. The development of our species have to start with how we deal with the people we happen to meet. And aikido, in my opinion, is a kinder garden, an educational system for dummies in how to deal with conflicts, and how to live peacefully.
Enjoy your keiko! Aikido makes people happy!